Last week I watched my daughter’s preschool friend work her way through raw cauliflower, beans, tomatoes, carrots and broccoli. I had never seen a child that age eat vegetables as if they were cupcakes. I asked her mum the secret and she said she just regularly offers those foods.
My children don’t eat badly. I vary the foods I offer and I feel they get a decent balance of nutrients. They have a small rotation of vegetables that they don’t mind, they all like fruit and happily devour my black bean brownies!
However, I know they could be better eaters. I struggle to get them to accept new foods and they always have space for something sweet, even if they are “full” from dinner. If I could turn back the clock, I would do the following things differently. However, it’s never too late and I know I can improve all our habits if I set my mind to it.
1. Not continuing to offer foods that got rejected the first time
Research shows that children need to taste a new food, on average, 7 to 12 times before they will accept it. Karen Le Billon, author of French Kids Eat Everything, says children need to repeatedly taste foods even if they don’t like them at first.
My children’s reaction to new food is usually so dramatically “anti” that I hesitate to offer it again. So we end up having the same foods on repeat, day-in and day-out.
I should have…
Kept Offering
I like the phrase that Ashley from Veggies and Virtue often uses. Instead of saying there are certain foods your children don’t like, try calling them “learning to like” foods, especially to your kids. This week my three girls decided they don’t mind carrots, after years of offering. And that’s one more win for the veggie repertoire!
2. Resorting to an alternative at dinner time
I swore I would never be the mum who panders to unreasonable requests. Sadly, more than once, I have fallen into the trap of offering something different to the meal I have spent hours preparing.
I have an irrational fear that my children will sleep badly if they don’t have a full tummy at bedtime. But they often sleep badly anyway!
A bowl of cereal once in a while won’t hurt but young children are testing boundaries. If given free rein of the pantry, they will resort to rejecting food more often than not.
I should have said…
“You don’t have to eat it but this is what is for dinner tonight.”
The late Ellyn Satter, an internationally recognised authority on eating and feeding, spoke about the division of responsibility in feeding. This model encourages you to to take leadership with what food is offered when and the child decides how much and whether they will eat what you provide.
My children are not going to starve if they choose not to eat the dinner I offer. They will probably just wake up very hungry and perhaps feel more inclined to try the next meal offered.
3. Getting into debates over why they don’t want to eat their dinner
Too many times I have been that mum coercing my toddler:
“Just try it. You may actually like it!” I say in my most enthusiastic tone.
This is typically met with a frown and a defiant shove of the dinner plate. Trying to convince a child to eat their dinner is exhausting for me and frustrating for them.
I should have…
Changed the subject and taken the focus off the food
On a few occasions when we’ve had a dinnertime standoff, I have deflected the attention off the meal. By changing the subject and chatting about something else, I’ve noticed my fussiest eater will nibble on part of her dinner which had previously been rejected.
Getting into a battle of wills with a toddler or preschooler is rarely going to end well. Distracting them can change the mood and perhaps give them back their sense of independence and control.
4. Ignored my own diet
Recent (minor) health concerns made me pay attention to my own eating habits. I realised I had neglected my own well-being for the last few years. I would eat the kids’ leftovers, rely on processed snacks and got into the habit of reaching for sugar or carbs throughout the day.
Reassessing my diet and making conscious changes just felt like too much effort until my body got fed up!
I should have…
Demonstrated better what a good diet looks like
Even if I get away with eating chocolate in the pantry without the kids seeing, they watch my habits. If they don’t see me eating raw carrots and tomatoes, how can I expect them to eat it?
Since I’ve added more fresh and whole foods to my diet, the girls seem to be more open to trying them too. And if that’s what is in the house, that is what we’re all eating.
5. Made pudding the prize
I always said I wouldn’t be the mum who makes my kids eat all their food before they have pudding. Yet, I regularly hear myself requesting a child eat “a few more veggies” before they have dessert.
I should have…
Only offered pudding as an exception
By having a sweet offering each night, there is no incentive to finish their main meal. Unless, of course, I use the pudding as a bargaining chip and I really don’t want to do that. Sweet treats should be just that – a treat they get regardless of whether they have finished their dinner. Then the rest of the time they know they need to fill up on their main meal.
6. Offered too many processed foods
When you have three children in less than three-and-a-half years you survive by taking shortcuts where you can. One of these timesavers has been processed snacks. My justification is that I always get them from the health section. But they are processed nevertheless and my kids have got the taste for the added sugar and salt.
I should have…
Been in the habit of including more plant and whole foods in their diet
The more space I fill in their tummies with fresh, unprocessed whole foods, the less room there is for the more addictive crackers, biscuits, rice cakes etc. There is nothing wrong with these in moderation but I recognise I have relied on these foods more than I probably should have.
Are your children happy or fussy eaters? If they eat anything you offer, what is your secret? Let me know in the comments.
As a grandmother, I love this wise advice. Children’s tastes change so persevere. Allowing them to enjoy what’s offered as the families meal is great social learning.
Author
Thanks for the encouragement Jan! I’ll keep persevering.