Why We Turned Off the TV

Dear Scarlett,

I suspect you will ask me one day why I was so determined to limit screen time in your early years.

You probably recall a time when I would hand you the remote and leave you to scroll through Netflix at your leisure. You would devour back-to-back episodes of Daniel Tiger or My Little Pony. I even felt nostalgic when I glanced over and saw you engrossed in Strawberry Shortcake, a personal favourite of mine when I was your age.

I didn’t realise it but the TV had become a very cost-effective babysitter. This went on for months.

I simultaneously started to notice some interesting developments in your behaviour. You have a beautiful heart but this was not reflected in the way you had started to act out on a daily basis.

Some days I would want to tear my hair out; you would lose it if the seam of your sock was skew, if your sister dared to talk to you at the wrong moment or if I poured too little (or too much!) milk into your cereal. You had become overstimulated by the world around you in its entirety. Where had my content child gone?

Then I read Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne and I became uncomfortably aware of the time you were spending in front of screens. It had become my crutch. When your sisters napped – and I needed time to myself – I would stick you in front of the TV. And it was hurting you.

I knew we had to significantly reduce your screen time – maybe even completely – but I was scared. I braced myself for a battle. How would we fill that gap? When would I ever get time to myself?

Armed with craft activities and books, we got through that first TV-free day remarkably well. Day two was more of a slog as you asked after your “besties” Shimmer and Shine and the Paw Patrol gang. By day three you looked forward to your sisters’ nap time as our quiet time together.

I didn’t even notice at first but quite quickly you just stopped asking about the TV. Instead, you now build boats from boxes and paint rainbows and engage in make-believe. You are doing what you are meant to be doing: playing.

I have been astonished by the difference in you since we turned off the “box”. Your imagination and creativity have blossomed. You are less overwhelmed and overtired. You are calmer. You are happier. And others have noticed too.

Hours of “vegging” in front of Nickelodeon have been replaced by a weekly movie night which everyone looks forward to – complete with popcorn and hot chocolate and a Disney movie. But no scary ones – at your request! Now we enjoy watching a bit of TV as a family tradition rather than a habit.

I never wanted to be one of those parents that sheltered or overprotected my kids. I didn’t ever want to give you anything to rebel against. I assumed we would have fewer rules which meant there were less of them to break. But now I know I do need to set limits to allow you to become the best version of you. And at times that might mean we do things that seem counter-cultural.

All I can hope is that one day you thank me rather than question my choices on your behalf. And when your friends are all talking about PJ Masks or Nella the Princess Night, may you be the one to smile and shout, “Let’s play superhero princesses!”

Love,
Mum