You learn so much when you become a parent. Sometimes you get things right the first time but more often you learn by getting it wrong. And I have got so much wrong. In this post, I suggest some unconventional parenting tips for toddlers. They’re unlikely to be chapter headings of a parenting book or things you would typically “Google”. However, I wish someone had mentioned these seemingly arbitrary things before we hit the toddler years.
ONLY BUY WHITE CROCKERY
“I want the pink bowl!”
“No, I want the pink one!!” *hysterical screams*
“You know what I want to do? I want to pour this cereal over your heads so you never fight about the pink bowl again,” I think to myself as I prepare to begin negotiations over the bloody IKEA plastic crockery.
If you think the novelty fox or owl bowl is cute now, you probably won’t in a couple of months or years. Just buy a set of white ones. Save yourself the hours of unnecessary fighting over who gets what bowl. If all the crockery is the same, there is nothing to argue about.
INTERVENE IN SIBLING CONFLICT AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE
If I hear “MUUUUUMMMM, she hurt me!” one more time I might lock myself in the laundry with a cup of tea and a magazine and hope I’m not found until I have started to decompose.
I’m not exaggerating when I say I am brought in to mediate in sibling quarrels at least a third of the day. It is exhausting. The trouble is I have brought it on myself. As an inexperienced parent, I thought it was my job to make my children get along. I didn’t realise I was causing more harm by constantly getting involved.
Of course, there are moments when it is necessary for me to step in, especially when things get physical. Other times, they request I get out my “Solutions Book” (blog post about this soon) which we use when we need to reach a compromise.
The times when I let them sort it out between them, they do a good job of finding a suitable resolution. I only wish I had stayed out of it from the outset so they didn’t get into the habit of involving me.
INVEST IN THE BIGGEST WASHING MACHINE YOU CAN AFFORD
At the time, a neat 7kg washing machine seemed generous enough for our family’s laundry needs. Three to four loads per day later – and let’s not even talk about bedding day! – I wholly regret not buying the cumbersome 14kg top loader. Small kids just create so much mess.
I dream of the day my machine breaks. Then I can replace it with a bigass laundrette-style machine into which I can shove days worth of clothes in one load. It’s not my dreams of yesteryear but mum-life has changed me!
READ THE TODDLER BOOKS BEFORE THEY ARE TODDLERS
I carry quite a bit of guilt over the way I treated my eldest child when she first started throwing tantrums and resisting my discipline. As a result of my ignorance, I expected far too much from her. I should have done a bit of reading before we reached “the twos”. This would have prepared me for dealing with the limited mental and emotional capabilities of a toddler.
Once I started to seek out tips for parenting toddlers, I realised how undeveloped a toddler’s cognitive ability and emotional intelligence is. There was so much I thought my two-year-old understood when she didn’t. In fact, I was the one who didn’t really understand at all. My lack of empathy was harmful to her wellbeing and our relationship.
I now handle meltdowns and difficult behaviour very differently. I’m just sorry my eldest had to be the reason I eventually sought out a better way.
KEEP KIDS CLOTHES TO A MINIMUM
Most toddlers and preschoolers, it seems, don’t care much for fashion. They esteem comfort above style. From what I can tell, they would happily wear the same thing every day if given the opportunity.
I can recall many mornings standing in front of my daughter’s wardrobe pulling various items out of her cupboard. Trying to find something for her to wear would regularly stress us both out. One day I reached a frustration point and threw every item on the floor. We then went through and decided what she was happy to keep and what could go. She was left with a small pile of clothes that she liked to wear. And the stress over getting dressed (mostly) ended.
Kids get overwhelmed by a wardrobe full of clothes (as do adults!). When there is less to choose from and it is easy to access, I’ve noticed my kids are more likely to pick their own clothes for the day and get themselves dressed.
For some reason, I’ve also noticed my eldest daughter has less laundry than anyone else. I can’t quite work out why having fewer clothes creates less laundry (she still wears clothes every day!) but it’s a win-win.
BE INTENTIONAL ABOUT TOYS AND PLAY
I wish I knew about open-ended toys and the importance of play before I started purchasing plastic toys all requiring batteries. So many of the toys I originally bought for our girls were thoughtlessly selected in the moment. I always hoped the latest purchase would occupy them for an extended period. This never happened because all the toys “did” something rather than leaving space for their imaginations to run wild.
Now I keep an eye out for wooden toys, animal figurines, loose parts, blocks, puzzles and anything that stimulates creativity or pretend play. We always have plenty of craft supplies available and I’ve learned how to whip up a batch of playdough in a matter of minutes.
Children will gravitate towards the toys that interest them and this differs from child to child. I just wish I had known there was an alternative option to the aisles of plastic toys the marketers make us think our kids need. Honestly, they are never happier than when presented with a big cardboard box and some masking tape.
I also do a fortnightly toy rotation. This is a great way to keep them engaged with their toys. By switching some toys in and out of the play space they don’t get bored of them because they only play with them for a limited period at a time.
There you have them, my top tips for parenting toddlers. I know there are far more pressing issues when you hit the toddler years. Yet, these apparently small things can impact family life if they become regular battles. I’ll see you in the kitchen section soon (because we are still fighting over the multi-coloured crockery!)..
