Finding Peace in a Pandemic

Dear daughters,

Do you see my anxiety? Can you sense I have been waking up with a feeling of dread in my stomach each morning? I’ve sat down to write this letter so many times recently yet words have failed me every time. How do I adequately record or explain just how quickly the world – as we have always known it – has been turned upside-down in the last weeks?

I’ve tried to shelter you from the reality of the COVID-19 crisis unfolding around you but you know something isn’t right. There is no school, no ballet classes or swimming lessons. You haven’t seen your friends in weeks and we’re home more than usual. Mummy is washing her hands like she has OCD and making you do the same. Life looks very different compared to how it did a few months ago.

Yet, despite the heartbreak of the COVID-19 pandemic, I can’t help but see the simple joys in a world that has been forced to slow down. We may never have another opportunity like this to take a corporate pause along with our fellow global citizens. To focus in on the most important things: family, loving one another, reaching out to those in need and enjoying time in nature (however fleeting or restricted those time may be at the moment). As I watch thousands impacted directly by this virus – whether it be the death of loved ones, job losses, being plagued by fear and anxiety – it forces me to realise just what truly means anything to me. And the answer is you, my nearest and dearest.

Right now my struggle is not with the virus itself, or the social isolation or the empty grocery shelves. It is a struggle with fear. It’s a fear that whispers in my ear saying everything could be lost in a moment. It is a fear that tomorrow the world will be a very different place and I might not like it. It is a fear of uncertainty and helplessness.

The joy of being a child right now is that when I see a pandemic, you see playtime. When I feel suffocated by the walls around me, you see quality time with each other. You are enjoying scooter rides and scavenger hunts, running on the beach and bike rides through leafy parks. We are baking cakes, building puzzles and picnicking in the backyard. When I fear the worst, you feel secure in the love of your family. You find joy in the simplicity of life and that is where I look to quiet my own fears.

If we have no hope we have nothing. As I hope for an end to this pandemic and send up a prayer for those affected, I look to your childlike naivety as an example to follow. Like you, I choose to take each day as it comes and not fear tomorrow but hope for a better one. And while the storm rages around us and we shelter in the safety of our homes, I will embrace each moment with you. As I contemplate the choas this pandemic is causing, I hug you tighter, tell you I love you more and seize these precious moments of quiet from a world that is usually full of noise, clutter and busyness.

Love,
Mum