Each year, I take out the biggest mixing bowl I own and set it on the kitchen counter. Myself and my three girls assemble in the kitchen, turn up the Christmas tunes and set to work. Soetkoekie (Afrikaans for sweet biscuit) baking day has become a treasured tradition in the Fox household.
As my daughters worked the huge cookie dough mixture by hand last week, I thought back to previous years when they were too small to reach the counter. They were still so determined to be involved. It dawned on me that this is a ritual that evolved naturally. There was never a moment when I consciously decided we would make a huge batch of our family favourite biscuits each year.
The best traditions are not imposed; they just happen. I remember a time when I worried we had no family traditions of our own after I’d read about the importance of traditions in family life. Everyone else seemed to have rituals they engaged in on a regular basis. But each time I tried to implement something, it just fizzled out. The best traditions can’t be forced. They need to evolve and – most importantly – they must bring joy.
This Christmas season, perhaps more than in any other year in recent history, we need to cling to those things that bring us joy, a sense of belonging and make our hearts glad. We need to seek out the things that bring us together emotionally when we can’t be together physically.
There is a particular light that overcomes people when they recount their own family traditions. It is as if a warmth overtakes them and the feeling akin to a cuddle envelops them. Traditions mean so much to us. They hold a reverence in our hearts.
The soetkoekie recipe has been passed down the generations in my dad’s family. Some of my fondest childhood memories include dipping soetkoekies into a cup of rooibos tea at my nan’s house. Her biscuit tins were always full of them. Her house was always (and still is) full of love and laughter.
The recipe includes nine cups of flour and eight eggs. The girls and I have only ever made half the recipe because I don’t own a bowl big enough to make the whole lot at once. But as my family grows and the popularity of our biscuits gains momentum, it might be time to upgrade our bakeware.
After we spent the afternoon rolling, cutting and baking biscuits I set about dividing them out between family members. My wider family is fragmented and divided. Despite the many disconnected relationships, there is something that connects us all: our love of soetkoekies. To an outsider, the completed batch looks irregular and probably unappealing. But that’s entirely intentional. Because everyone has a preference for how they eat them: a few like them underbaked, others overbaked. Most prefer them with currants but some like them without. Half like the square ones, the rest always reach for the round ones. Ask anyone on either side of my family about soetkoekies and they will wax-lyrical about their deliciousness.
I have come to realise the reconciliatory power of traditions. It recently occurred to me why the original recipe is so huge. These are more than just biscuits. They are a vessel for conveying all the good things loved-ones should share.
What unites you and your loved ones? What cherished moments or family traditions can you engage in to feel less disconnected in a year of upheaval?
Wishing you all a Merry Christmas. May you find peace and hope in the familiar things or discover new ways to connect with those you love during an uncertain time.
Please can you share your family recipe Rox? Thank you xx