The day has finally arrived when I have all three children in school. Today was my youngest’s first day of school and she walked off without a glance backwards. I was under strict orders not to cry as I would embarrass her. *Mum quietly cries behind her sunnies to avoid unwanted attention*
I thought it might be a day of celebration, instead it is unexpectedly anti-climatic. I’m not over-the-moon, nor am I crying in a heap in the corner. It just doesn’t feel that different at all. Yes, I’ll have a few more hours in the week but the rest remains the same. Messy house, lunches to pack, dinners to cook, kids to fetch and cart and all…the…laundry.
We’ll call it a significant day rather than a life-changing one. Virtual cheers to a new season because 9.45am on a Tuesday felt too early for real champagne. One should wait until at least 11am.
I have been asked numerous times, in recent months, what I will do with my time now I have all three children at school. The question really begs for a witty response but alas, this is simply not my style. Instead, I paste on a smile and stutter some standard reply to this fairly intrusive enquiry. People are well-meaning but to be honest, these sorts of comments just reinforce how undervalued full-time parenting has become in our society. I have spent the last nine years looking after my children to the best of my ability. Now that I have a few extra hours in my week, maybe I will have half a chance to do it well.
It might be my daughter’s first day of school, but it’s the first day of a new season for me. A season where I have a bit more space and time. The next few months is a season to rediscover parts of me that have been ignored for too long, in favour of raising three young children. What that looks like to other people is, in all honesty, not my concern.
I hope it will look like a lot more writing and working on the things I love. Maybe I can be the mum I would like to be but find it hard to outwork when the demands of daily life are crammed into too few hours. Perhaps it will look like something else.
For now, my darling Thea, I will sit here and take a moment to reflect on the joy and hardship that we have endured together to get you to this point. And I will smile at your confidence, quirkiness and determination and the way you just strode into this big day. You will always be my spirited child. I am so proud of who you are becoming and I will have a glass of wine ready for after I attend your first parent teacher meeting.
Love,
Mum
Have a little one starting out on their school journey? The Happy Families podcast has recently done a series of podcast episodes that might be useful to you.